Woman gets desirable job because of merit

A WOMAN has landed a sought-after job because of her ability rather than some complex network of personal connections.

22-year-old Mary Fisher beat dozens of other applicants to land a role as a production assistant at television company Blue Parrot Films.

A company spokesman said: “We don’t normally hire on merit but she had a lot of good ideas and seemed genuinely keen.

“We realise it’s a controversial move to judge someone on their aptitude rather than family connections, them having gone to the same school or university as one of the directors, or whether they have big tits.

“However I think hiring people who are actually good at things, rather than simply being the offspring of someone you met at a school sports day, could benefit businesses.

“It’s part of a new approach that involves offering actual ‘jobs’ rather than extended periods of unpaid work that are designed to weed out the financially weak.”

However barrister Tom Booker said: “Hiring candidates for some better jobs based on their personal qualities risks excluding some of the more moronic children of the rich.

“Think of the hell Boris Johnson or Prince Andrew would face. I wouldn’t employ those idiots even if it were doing nights in a chicken burger factory.

“In that sense fairness is quite unfair.”