MILLIONS of Pokemon Go players have been left inconsolable after realising it is a ridiculous and pathetic waste of time.
Fans of the video game, which involves catching creatures with names that sound like sexually transmitted diseases, experienced a moment of enlightenment where they suddenly understood that it was utterly pointless.
24-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “I had just captured a little dinosaur called ‘Charmeleon’ by pointing my phone at a bush when I realised I was a grown woman behaving in the most pathetic manner imaginable.
“All my Pokemon achievements, like using ‘stardust’ and ‘candies’ to train up a tortoise with guns coming out of its shell, are irrelevant to anyone over the age of ten.”
Office manager Roy Hobbs recently became one of the first players to capture all the Pokemon. He said: “After landing my final Pokemon – a sort of caterpillar with wings called Bogalog – I felt an incredible sense of elation.
“That soon faded as I realised I was a grown man living in a childish fantasy bubble while ignoring the emotional needs of my family.
“After a short period weeping in the fetal position, I released my Pokemon army by smashing my phone.
“Now I am free to live my life, at least until they bring out a new version with cooler, more colourful monsters.”