Establishment planning to bring Russell Brand down with sex scandal

THE security services are planning to discredit Russell Brand by having him caught in an affair with a disreputable young woman.

Masquerading as a respectable family man

The comedian’s popularity among young people is expected to nosedive when he is exposed as just one more public figure unable to keep it in his trousers.

MI5 boss Denys Finch Hatton said: “JFK, Gandhi, Ron Davies; these leftist types act all high and mighty, but sex is always their fatal weakness.

“Our nubile, inviting young agent will pretend her car’s broken down by the roadside outside Brand’s home, bait in a honeytrap he won’t be able to resist.

“She’ll submit herself to his animalistic depredations, recording device hidden in her hatpin activated the whole while, and the following Sunday he’s exposed in the newspapers.

“His followers, disgusted that their idol is nothing but a slave to his bestial lusts, will soon abandon him in favour of someone more worthy of their respect like former Welsh secretary John Redwood.”

If the plan fails, MI5 refuse to rule out planting evidence that will smear Brand as a former drug addict.