A SHEEP has claimed that David Cameron was doing something other than rescuing it.
The prime minister has been hailed as a hero for allegedly saving the animal after it became stuck in boggy ground.
However ewe Emma Bradford has questioned the official version of events.
She said: “The ground was moderately damp at best. As a sure-footed ruminant I was in no peril.
“It was a perfectly normal afternoon, I was grazing with occasional breaks to stare into the middle distance looking for predators.
“Suddenly I heard a cough and a pair of Cuprinol-coloured hands was yanking at my wool.
“I was aware of a figure behind me, and had the feeling of leisurewear pressed against my hind quarters. I couldn’t see the man but I recognised the voice, he was saying Samantha didn’t understand him any more.
“Those manicured hands were literally everywhere. I could feel his hot breath as he nibbled my ear tag and called me Angela.
“My first thought was to run for a gate or stile, but all exits to the field were blocked by armed police. I bleated furiously.
“My farmer arrived just as things were about to turn really ugly.
“The prime minister unhanded me, handed him a crisp £50 note and was on his way without a backwards glance.”
