WE all had odd childhood crushes, and it’s likely they’re lodged in your psyche forever. Here are some of the slightly obscure hotties your current partner cannot hope to live up to.
Lee Meriwether
Lee was the ludicrously sexy Catwoman in the 1966 Batman film. Was her costume entirely appropriate for young viewers like you? Possibly not, but it’s a hard act to follow. Does your current partner slink around the house in a skintight outfit making excruciating cat-related puns like ‘It’s the purr-fect crime’? No. You might have to split up.
Limahl
Every male pop star was promoted as a pin-up in the 80s, so you may well have had an aching crush on Limahl. And while he’s no John Taylor, his music stardom makes him considerably more eligible than than your husband. You can’t really hold it against your spouse for not having a series of 80s pop hits, because he’s an accountant and was six at the time. But has he even tried to learn the synthesizer? Not that you’re aware of.
Princess from Battle of the Planets
The cartoon was spliced together from a Japanese anime with a lot of backstory missing, resulting in many unanswered questions. Why were G-Force dressed as birds? Why did Zoltar always insist on weapons resembling animals, which must have been an engineering nightmare? And most importantly, why won’t your real-life partner dress up in a pink minidress, white wings and a helmet shaped like a beak?
Jason Connery
The star of ITV’s Robin of Sherwood was briefly very famous and definitely counts as a heartthrob, so it’s understandable if your 2025 partner is disappointing in comparison. However Jason is only really known for this one role, so it could actually be Robin Hood you’re attracted to. Make your husband run around the nearest woods with a bow and arrow and a lank blond mullet and see if it puts the spark back in your relationship.
Tegan from Doctor Who
Your Doctor Who crush very much depends on your date of birth, so there must be a significant cohort of men who fancy Tegan, the companion who first appeared in the 1981 serial Logopolis. If as an adult you’ve been incapable of maintaining a relationship with any woman who isn’t a gobby Australian air hostess, perhaps now is the time to look into the cause.
Sebastian Coe
It seems odd to have a crush on Lord Coe now, but at the height of his Olympics success he was a national sporting hero and pleasingly handsome and posh to boot. So 1980s Seb is quite hard for a real-life partner to live up to. Luckily he became a Tory MP in 1992 and everyone went off him after that, so maybe there’s no need to get divorced.
Jan Chappell from Blake’s 7
Who played Cally, and whatever your actual partner may say, there is nothing weird or abnormal about still carrying a torch for a character from a ropey 43-year-old BBC sci-fi show. Would your wife have be able to operate the teleporters on The Liberator? Probably not, although this is admittedly hard to verify.
