MUCH-LOVED cookery writer Nigel Slater has confessed that his passion for toast goes beyond the kitchen and into the bedroom.
While Slater has always made his love of the simple breakfast staple clear in cookbooks and memoirs, this week he tearfully admitted that he often wakes up in the morning with a bed full of buttery crumbs.
In an emotional statement, he gave fans an unflinchingly honest account of his relationships with slices of crusty warm bread.
He said: “It’s time I came clean. My relationship with toast has evolved from one between a chef and his meal into a nightly, all-out f**kfest.
“One night while working on a Guardian recipe of burrata and pearl barley or some shit, I realised that me and the Hovis in my bread bin could take things to a whole new level. And by that I mean I stuck my dick in it. It just felt so right.
“I admit I went through a promiscuous phase with toast, but any celebrity chef will tell you there’s no shortage of attractive, willing bread that’s only too happy to hop under the grill for you.”
Never one to hold back on culinary advice, Slater was forthright about his erotic bread preferences.
He said: “It might be more politically correct to say I don’t have a preference in terms of looks, but I find a bit of warm ciabatta dripping in Lurpak goes down best – if you catch my drift.”
He added: “I want to make clear that none of this is because I’m from Wolverhampton.”