Saturday, 7th December 2019

'This is all we f*cking need' confirm Pizza Express and Woking

TROUBLED restaurant chain Pizza Express and dreary town Woking have confirmed Prince Andrew's admission of visiting them is all they f*cking need.

With Pizza Express in massive debt and Woking being the kind of place that can only dream of being Slough, both stressed an association with Prince Andrew was 'a kick in already painful nuts'.

Woking resident, Martin Bishop said:  “Personally, I believe him but then again I do live in Woking by choice so feel free to take anything I say with a pinch of salt.”

Pizza Express worker, Nathan Muir added: “He did definitely come in here because I remember the manager saying that under no circumstances where we to rub our balls on his food.”