DAVID Beckham is 50, sending most of the nation into PTSD flashbacks of life under the relentless bombardment of publicity about him and his wife. How did you survive?
Roy Hobbs, coach driver: “God, it was hard. Every day waking up to another barrage of paparazzi photos, another haircut, another kid, his wife wearing a lip ring at Party in the Park. But I knew, one day, they’d piss off to America.”
Margaret Gerving, retired: “My late husband and I had a Posh & Becks drinking game. Whenever we saw mention of them we’d drink until we were unconscious. God rest him. Baden-Baden was his end.”
Steve Malley, landscape gardener: “I didn’t escape without scars. I’ve still got my son’s name tattooed in gothic script over my arse.”
Hannah Tomlinson, baker: “I ODed in October 2005. From there it was rehab and three years on the methadone of Peter and Katie.”
Gary Neville, property developer: “I mainly used to hang back while being undeniably ugly.”
