THE late Princess Diana’s famous revenge dress is up for sale, competitively starting at less than the average British house. Where are you wearing it?
Callie Ryan, socialite: “The September 24th PTA meeting. Teach the pricks to vote me off the health and safety committee for ‘persistent non-attendance’. They’ll see what they’re missing.”
Jason Statham, former SAS corporal: “Freeclimbing the wall of a Turkish fortress before breaking in and single-handedly massacring everyone, including the son of a bitch who kidnapped my daughter. One must be properly attired for such instances.”
Ryan Whittaker, dog walker: “For being done from behind in the back alley behind the Bayswater Arms by a man I barely know, just like she was.”
Greg Hands, former MP: “Oh God! Oh God! I’m being knighted by King Charles at Buckingham Palace this afternoon and in a freak accident every item of clothing I own has fallen into the corn thresher! I’ve got no choice! I’ll have to wear this!”
Lottie Phleps, timpani player: “Why, Les Bal de Débutantes in the Shangri-La Hotel, Paris, of course. Ah f**k, I’ve not been invited.”
