NICKI Minaj has become president Trump’s ‘number one fan’ after he gave her a gold card visa. Which celebrity will be next to embrace his decrepit reign?
Norman Steele, actuary: “Nicki Minaj, the cartoon character?”
Helen Archer, phlebotomist: “Benedict Cumberbatch. For no other reason than I’ve always hated the f**ker and that will give me a solid justification.”
Grace Wood-Morris, visual display consultant: “Katy Perry. On the rebound.”
Wayne Hayes, firefighter: “Joseph James DiAngelo, the Golden State Killer responsible for at least 13 murders. Who’ll be given a full pardon and appear with Trump at a rally while confetti falls and the crowd goes wild.”
Emma Bradford, tattooist: “Tom Cruise, in his craziest, most death-defying stunt yet! Will his career survive?”
