Which arsehole should your teenage son idolise after Andrew Tate?

YOU’VE discovered your teenage son is a horrible misogynist thanks to Andrew Tate. So which terrible male role model could he be brainwashed by next?

Logan Paul

The social media star has had to apologise several times for unsuitable content he posted online. However, since he tried his hand at boxing, he’s won over many of his critics who are all very happy to watch him being repeatedly punched in the head.

Jordan Peterson

The psychology professor, pseudo-intellectual and so-called culture warrior is a divisive figure. Some people think you shouldn’t listen to him because he’s a shit-for-brains American. This is unfair; he’s actually a shit-for-brains Canadian.

Ant-Man

While the Marvel superhero is generally a positive character, believing in justice and the importance of family, his ability to shrink down to the size of an ant and then grow to 50 feet tall gives young men unrealistic body expectations.

Johnny Depp

Johnny won’t be winning any Husband of the Year awards, but he’s an inspiration to young men who want to become actors. Anyone who’s that unlikeable in real life but can become loveable Captain Jack Sparrow deserves his Oscars.

Matty Healy

It’s thought the song that most influenced the lead singer of The 1975 was probably Radiohead’s first big hit. Not because he likes the chord progression or contrasting guitar sounds but because he’s a f**king creep.

Harry Styles

To go from being fodder for a crap music competition to a megastar who’s won Grammys and dated Olivia Wilde is pretty clear proof Harry has signed a deal with Satan. Selling your soul and being tortured in Hell forever is bad advice however you look at it.

Dick Dastardly

While his contribution to the world of motorsport is without question, his attempts to run Penelope Pitstop off the road were a sign of underlying misogyny. There are also concerns that teenage boys will imitate his attempts to aggressively harass a carrier pigeon.

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Welshman enjoying traditional meal of daffodils

A WELSHMAN is tucking into a traditional St David’s Day feast of daffodils, it has emerged.

Swansea resident Joseph Turner is honouring the patron saint of Wales with the customary plate of lightly sautéed daffodils that all his countrymen heartily consume at this time of year.

He said: “In the same way Christmas wouldn’t be complete without turkey, St David’s Day just doesn’t feel right without a mouth-watering serving of daffodils ripped straight out of the garden. They’re a delicacy.

“Nobody knows for sure where the tradition came from. Some historians reckon Saint David couldn’t get enough of the things, while others argue they represent the dragon he failed to kill. When they taste this good though, who cares about the details?

“To be honest I’m surprised that eating daffodils hasn’t caught on in the rest of Britain. Why does everyone get enjoyably drunk on Saint Patrick’s Day but they won’t eat a plateful of bitter flowers that give you stomach ache? It doesn’t make sense.

“Yes, daffodils are poisonous and eating them makes you really ill, but they’re no worse than the minced sheep’s lungs Scots stuff their faces with on Burns night. That’s properly weird.”