‘You are the most expendable part of this’, says voice in Richard Hammond’s head

THE voice inside Richard Hammond’s head has reminded him he is easily the most expendable part of Jeremy Clarkson’s TV entourage.

After Hammond declared all ice cream to be homosexual, the voice warned him that ‘he can be replaced by Adrian Chiles at any time’.

The voice added: “Clarkson is the star. Sure, we don’t really know why, but there it is.

“James May has a slightly awkward, fogey-ish quality that makes him sufficiently different from Clarkson.

“But you’re just a little fart. So do us both a favour and stop calling things ‘gay’. I don’t want to be the voice inside the head of a bitter has-been who’s selling smoothie makers on a shopping channel.”