DELIBERATELY antagonistic people are claiming to prefer the wet weather just to provoke arguments.“It’s not as clammy”
Following a drop in temperature and severe storms, those who relish being controversial have been talking loudly about how much pleasanter it is.
56-year-old bitter divorcee Roy Hobbs said: “It’s horrible when it’s hot, you can’t sleep at night, there are insects everywhere and you have to wear shorts which makes you look like a cartoon character.
“It suits me much better when it is torrential rain all day. At least you can get some work done.
“That’s what I think. You probably have some sort of problem with that, don’t you? Not that I care.”
87-year-old Mary Fisher said: “Rain is the weather for me. The sun hurts my eyes, I hate it. And it’s too hot for the dog.
“It’s just a shame you can’t do any of the things you enjoy doing, like going to the seaside or the park. Still, it’s better for me.
“Also, I prefer big dogs to puppies. Puppies are shit. Aren’t they?”
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “These are the kind of people who will swear blind that Jaws II is better than Jaws, just because it isn’t.
“They will die alone.”