BRITAIN has seen a sharp rise in the number of firms planning to hire staff, pay them next to nothing and treat them like farm animals.
City accountants Donnelly-McPartlin found that a record number of employers are planning to concoct a cynical, dishonest job advert and then exploit the hell out of the successful candidates.
A spokesman said: “It’s an exciting time to be a boss in Britain. There are so many new opportunities to turn fresh, hopeful human beings into meat robots.
“Just convince them – with the help of the media and mainstream political parties – that work is virtuous. Then throw some coins at their feet and maybe a voucher to see a film about a talking dog.”
Martin Bishop, managing director of some fucking PR firm, said: “It’s even better if you work in an industry which 22 year-old morons think is faintly glamorous. They’re basically volunteer slaves.
“Some days I have to pinch myself. By which I mean I get one of my slaves to pinch me.”