Thursday, 13th May 2021

Bald man told to stop wearing woolly hat now

A BALD man has been gently informed that it is too warm for him to continue wearing a woolly hat, especially indoors. 

Tom Logan, who lost all his hair before the end of his twenties and is totally cool about that, habitually wears a woolly hat from the beginning of October to the end of February but is attempting to ignore the unseasonably warm weather.

Colleague Francesca Ryan said: “It’s spring. It’s 16 degrees out. The time has come.

“Yeah, I guess your head does suffer more from the cold than ours, but come on, Tom. We can see it getting soaked in sweat. It’s not working.

“We haven’t forgotten you’re bald over the last few months. It’s not going to come as a shock to us. We promise we’ll still pity-flirt.”

Logan said: “The cool spring air does feel good flowing over my hairless scalp. Like an awakening. Like freedom.

“Then a pretty girl passes by and I’m at best invisible, more often repulsive, and I need my comfort hat again.”