Boffins Unveil World’s Smuggest House

SCIENTISTS yesterday unveiled what they claim will be the world's smuggest house. 

The Institute for Studies said the two-bedroom structure will be constructed using high insulation walls woven from downy hairs harvested by hand by local peasants from the underside of sustainable Mongolian goats.

The heating and hot water are supplied by a sophisticated air conditioning system which synthesises the energy generated by the owners talking about the immorality of package holidays.

After each home is completed the construction workers will be minced and used as fertiliser to grow a small coppice to offset the carbon dioxide they gave off during the building process.

The new house even comes with its own well-stocked delicatessen featuring artisan products from around the world, including Andalucian bees' milk cheddar and Sri Lankan grasshopper sausage, as well as a subscription to Vanity Fair, the collected works of Will Self and a complete set of Dido CDs.

The Home of the Future

1: A large, solar-powered neon sign which reads, 'Better Than You' 

2: The roof folds out to provide a landing pad for Al Gore's helicopter

3: The walls are reversible for no reason whatsoever

4: Household urine is recycled into a tangy, carbon-neutral beverage