Cat wakes up on car roof after another massive session

A CAT has woken up on the roof of a random car after an all-night drinking session, it has emerged.

Cat Stephen Malley has no idea how he ended up sleeping on a 2003 Toyota Camry but does have a vague recollection of swaying around to Simply the Best with his collar off.

Malley said: “You know you’ve had a big one when you wake up on top of an object that can reach 110mph.

“Sometimes I’ll wake up on some shoes in the hallway or behind the telly but rarely does it get so bad that I wake up outside with my coat frozen onto metal.

“My mate has had a litter of six and we were out to wet the kittens’ heads. Or was that Sunday? I forget.”

Malley added: “Next up I’ve got to face the cat flap. You try opening a small door with your head after you’ve had a furful.”