A DAD has been allotting time slots for visitors on Christmas Day to prevent parking issues on his beloved drive.
Roy Hobbs, aged 63, drawing on several decades of experience with festive congestion, has structured a precise timetable for visiting family and friends to adhere to.
His daughter Joanna said: “I received a letter inside mum and dad’s Christmas card which informed me that parking outside next door’s is forbidden after last year’s debacle with Auntie June’s mobility scooter.
“It went on to say that due to this we will only be able to use the drive, which is large enough for either two saloons or one SUV and one Smart car per visit.
“There was a questionnaire attached which asked about things like ‘length of intended stay’ and ‘vehicle dimensions’, and included a stern warning about returning it promptly in the stamped addressed envelope provided.
“We received our slots a week later. I’d asked for 10am to 12pm but was given 5pm to 6pm inclusive, which means the kids will be both high as kites on selection boxes and knackered little shitbags. Serves him right I suppose.”
She added: “At least we know now why he asked mum to get him a high-vis jacket and clipboard for Christmas.”
