Family love visiting tranquil countryside and f**king it up with litter

A FAMILY who went on a spring trip to beautiful countryside loved it so much they couldn’t be f**ked to take their litter home.

Martin and Carole Bishop decided to make the sunshine and flowers being eased by taking a picnic to the Sussex Downs and leaving most of it discarded on the grass.

He said: “We’ve been thirsting to spend time appreciating nature after being cooped up indoors all winter, but once we’d appreciated it we couldn’t be arsed to take our disposable barbecue home with us.

“It was really hot and covered in melted cheese and burnt fat, so we just chucked it in a hedge along with several plastic bottles and a punctured inflatable armchair.

“The countryside gets cleaned up, doesn’t it? I think that’s what I pay my council tax for. Or maybe that’s what farmers are for. One of the two.

“We also left eight beer bottles, all our fag ends, and a fair amount of urine. Which is fine because it’s good for the plants or whatever.

“Anyway, we had a lovely day and that’s all we give a f**k about.”

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Starmer outrages Britain with sickeningly partisan suggestion that things aren't going brilliantly

LABOUR leader Keir Starmer has alienated ordinary Britons with a vicious and destablising attack on the government which is only doing its best. 

Revolted voters could only watch in horror as the elitist ignored the public mood to unleash a unjustifiable assault on so-called government mismanagement, sickening them to the core.

Nathan Muir of Winchester said: “How could he do this? And how could he be so wrong?

“Day after day, ministers reassure us that we’re beating the world in tackling this thing, that we’re doing so well that we can ignore the science, and that numbers are meaningless so we don’t need to know them.

“Then Starmer crashes in with these lunatic allegations that the government ‘isn’t doing very well’ and ‘responsibility falls squarely at the door of No 10.’ Why?

“He accused Boris Johnson of ‘winging it’. Boris! Winging it! The very idea!

“This is a time for national unity. Shame on you, Mr Starmer. Next time, instead of talking, why not simply cheer?”