Thursday, 13th May 2021

Family love visiting tranquil countryside and f**king it up with litter

A FAMILY who went on a long-anticipated trip to beautiful countryside loved it so much they couldn’t be f**ked to take their litter home.

Martin and Carole Bishop decided to make the most of lockdown being eased by taking a picnic to the Sussex Downs and leaving most of it discarded on the grass.

He said: “We’ve been thirsting to spend time appreciating nature after being cooped up indoors for so many weeks, but once we’d appreciated it we couldn’t be arsed to take our disposable barbecue home with us.

“It was really hot and covered in melted cheese and burnt fat, so we just chucked it in a hedge along with several plastic bottles and a punctured inflatable armchair.

“The countryside gets cleaned up, doesn’t it? I think that’s what I pay my council tax for. Or maybe that’s what farmers are for. One of the two.

“We also left eight beer bottles, all our fag ends, and a fair amount of urine. Which is fine because it’s good for the plants or whatever.

“Anyway, we had a lovely day and that’s all we give a f**k about.”