TORY fears of a brutal fox insurgency are growing after one of them was spotted trying to ride a horse.
Martin Bishop, a big fat Tory who farms eight million acres near Asterley in Shropshire, said: “It was all a bit haphazard. He obviously didn’t know where to put his back legs and he kept falling off.
“But he was wearing a little hat, so they obviously know about equestrian safety. I’ll tell you what, once these buggers get the hang of it, I am a dead man walking.”
Bill McKay, assistant chief constable of Shropshire Police, said: “I would advise Tories to stay indoors unless they’re very good at hiding in hedgerows or able to leave some kind of false scent.
“But if a Tory does find yourself in open countryside with a group of mounted foxes hurtling towards it, either pretend to be a tree or try digging a hole really, really quickly.”
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “There is no more dangerous combination in all of nature than a fox who knows how to ride a horse.
“It would be fascinating to see a group of mounted foxes up close. I wonder if they’ll be twats?”