Gerbil only goes and f**king eats other gerbil

A BELOVED pet gerbil has only gone and f**king eaten his mate.

The gerbils, known as Ant and Dec, were owned by 12-year-old Nikki Hollis who found Dec eating Ant this morning which resulted in her screaming for about four hours straight.

Hollis’s father Martin said: “We’ve never had gerbils before so how were we supposed to know they do this kind of thing?

“We’d got them a small plastic wheel and everything, which should be been more than enough to keep any cage-confined mammal mentally stable.”

He added: “We were going to get Nikki a dog instead of the gerbils but we thought it would have ended up being quite expensive.

“We now realise it’s going to cost a lot more paying for her years of therapy.”

However gerbil Dec said: “We were having some banter and the next thing I knew I was eating him.

“I was just being ‘in the moment’.”