THE time of year when a location in Britain is basking in weather warmer than a famously sunny European city has come around again.
The temperature in Manchester today will be a full seven degrees higher than the temperature in Athens, with the implication that this makes the Greeks a right bunch of dicks for living there.
Meteorologist Dr Helen Archer said: “Daffodils, damp barbecues and a gloating report that Hull is hotter than Naples: a true indicator that British spring has sprung.
“We’ve got through our miserable winter and for one glorious day we’re getting more sunshine than our continental neighbours so we act as if we’ve really got one over on them, the flash bastards.
“For a day Barnsley is better than Barcelona, Milan envious of Milton Keynes, Newcastle more sun-kissed than Nice. This quirk of the weather is heralded as a well-deserved British victory.
“Though we should note it’s only allowed to occur on a weekday. Otherwise you might be able to enjoy it.”
Athenian Antonis Alexiou said: “Oh, how I wish I were in Manchester today. It is such a notoriously wonderful place with so much to enjoy.”
