A MAN who spent three years learning how to make his gas boiler turn on at the right time says the government can shove their heat pumps up their arses.
Oliver O’Connor appreciates that the pumps are better for the environment, but after three years trying to stop his radiators coming on at 3am in August, he believes the environment needs to cut him a f**king break.
O’Connor said: “I’m fully behind a low-carbon net zero future, but it’s going to have to happen without me until 2031 because I’ve finally cracked this copper bastard.
“I moved into this flat in 2018 and this autumn is the first time I’ve made sense of the cryptic symbols on the thermostat and made it talk to the boiler. I feel like that bloke out of The Da Vinci Code.
“So if the government think I’m swapping this baby for some baffling heat pump they can get f**ked. I’ve spent too many winters Googling ‘how does my f**king boiler work’ under two duvets to give it up now.
“They’d pay me five grand? Then maybe. The noises this thing’s making, it’s probably on the way out.”