Rat feeling pressure to become super rat

A RAT has been left depressed by reports of so-called ‘super rats’.

Average-sized size rat Tom Booker says modern rodents face increasing pressure to become larger and develop poison resistance.

Booker said: “Apparently just being ‘a rat’ just doesn’t cut it any more.

“As if my scavenging lifestyle wasn’t stressful enough, I’ve got to somehow become the size of a cat and exhibit intelligence far beyond what was previously expected of me.

“On top of that I’m supposed to breed at an accelerated rate. But I haven’t even had sex this year, probably because of confidence issues.

“I met a super rat once, he wasn’t even that good looking.”