Trapped Scottish drivers forced to deep fry each other

HUNDREDS of Scottish drivers, trapped by heavy snow, today face the prospect of deep frying the meatiest ones to stay alive.

With emergency services unable to get through, the cold and hungry motorists have fashioned a deep fat fryer using the cargo bay of a Toyota Hilux pick-up truck and some blow torches.

Those motorists that look the most delicious will then be deep fried in motor oil for about 20 minutes.

The police and fire brigade said they hoped to get close enough to the stranded cars so that they can use catapults to fire in sachets of brown sauce.

A spokesman for the RAC said: “Luckily most Scottish people carry batter ingredients in the boot of their car in case they come across something by the side of the road that needs to be deep fried.

“If you’re driving through central Scotland on a Sunday, you will often see families parked up by the side of the road deep frying a fox, or a badger or an abandoned shopping trolley.

“Sometimes a knife fight will break out over who gets to eat the wheels.”