Saturday, 24th October 2020

Burger King's good for you this month, claim knackered parents

EXHAUSTED parents have resorted to telling their children that fast food is really healthy for the entire month of August.

With Eat Out To Help Out in full swing, frazzled mums and dads who have been doing this for months now have advised their progeny that Burger King is actually a nutritious choice ideal for a child’s development for the next three-and-a-half weeks.

Mum of two Nikki Hollis said: “At first I tried to explain the government’s discount scheme, but I got bogged down in the complications so I turned to simple lying.

“Now, as far as they’re concerned, a flame-grilled Whopper has a magical charm placed on it by the monarch of burgers himself that makes it perfectly okay during the holidays. Because I’m bloody sick of cutting the crusts off sandwiches.

“It’s them who’s taking the piss. Usually they’re dying to stuff fries into their faces, but suddenly they’re asking loads of questions. I blame Joe f**king Wicks.”

Six-year-old Oliver Hollis said: “I’m concerned that the initiative doesn’t tally with the government’s anti-obesity campaign.

“And when I said that to mum, I got a caramel sundae.”