A COUPLE genuinely believe they will be able to quit their jobs and make a living selling an expensive ‘artisanal’ version of muesli.
Lawyers Eleanor and Martin Bishop passionately believe they can escape the rat race by pissing their money up the wall on a poorly thought-out business venture.
Eleanor said: “We adore going to our local farmers’ market and spending ridiculous sums on mundane food items that have been wrapped in brown paper so they seem all handmade and rustic.
“So we thought, why don’t we do it too? We both love our homemade muesli so there’s clearly a massive market for it. We’ll probably end up on Dragons’ Den going into business with Peter Jones.
“It’s been pointed out to us that chucking in well-paid, stable jobs to become glorified street traders is fucking stupid, but we’re ignoring the naysayers.
“We just know people won’t be able to resist spending £7.99 on what is essentially nuts, raisins and sawdust in a paper bag tied up with brown twine. It’s just too lovely and yummy.”
Friend Nathan Muir said: “I could buy five times the amount for a third of the price in Sainsbury’s, you total bellends.
“And it would actually taste nice.”