IT’S the beginning of another dispiriting week, but don’t just shove a ready meal down and watch telly. These deceptively simple recipes will swallow the whole evening:
A delicious stalwart from youth, when you had f**k all to do. By the time you’ve chopped ingredients, cooked the chicken and washed up the massive wok it will be coming up to 9.30pm. And plenty of cold, damp, flavourless leftovers tomorrow.
Cheesy pasta bake
Ever wanted to cook the same pasta twice? This one’s for you. Grate a whole block of Cathedral City, pour cooked penne into a casserole dish and leave it in the oven for God knows how long. Your shop-bought garlic bread will be done in fifteen minutes, so you’ll stuff the lot then be full.
Your mum taught you to save hassle by starting the potato off in the microwave, winning back five whole minutes of evening. Whack in oven for two further hours ready for a delicious, hearty meal that tastes just like it did in your school canteen.
Thai green curry
How does rice take so f**king long? It’s tiny. Maybe you messed up the ratio of grains to water, but leaving the rice until last ‘while the curry simmers’ will add an hour to your cooking time and probably also rekindle a long-standing marital argument about time management.
Chilli con carne
Jesus Christ, how basic can you get? It’s just meat, beans and a packet of Schwartz chilli powder. All you had to do was chop an onion, but it leaves you weeping uncontrollably when you remember that you have to be up at 7am tomorrow and this is just your life now. It’ll soon be weekend again and you can order a takeaway.