THE nation’s children will have eaten so much Easter chocolate they will be sick by lunchtime, it has been confirmed.
Having promptly devoured their weekly recommended allowance of chocolate in a matter of minutes, children across the country will be hunched over the toilet feeling queasy by midday.
Parent Tom Booker said: “Every year it’s the same story. The kids wake up, rip the foil off their Easter eggs, stuff them into their greedy faces, then bring them back up again shortly after.
“I try to warn them that furiously gobbling down chocolate never ends well. But they pay even less attention than when I try to teach them about the real meaning of Easter.”
Booker’s eight-year-old son Martin said: “I’ve only been up for half an hour but I’ve already scoffed four massive Easter eggs, half a dozen Creme Eggs and a couple of bags of chocolate buttons for good measure. I fail to see how this will backfire.
“Having said that, I suddenly feel the need to go to the bathroom for a completely unrelated reason. It’s probably that one piece of fruit I ate in the last six months coming back to haunt me.”