Monday, 3rd August 2020

McDonald's meal not the joyful life-affirming event man expected

A MAN who was thrilled to be going for a drive-through McDonald’s was gutted to remember it is just so-so fast food.

Ryan Whittaker was counting the days until his local McDonald’s opened and leapt into his car for a mouthwatering burger feast to celebrate life gradually returning to normal.

He said: “I parked up to eat it, and that’s when I discovered my Big Mac was just a sad, squished bun containing a couple of burgers that didn’t taste particularly meaty.

“The plastic cheese completely bypassed my taste buds, and even the lettuce felt a bit synthetic. The secret sauce definitely wasn’t as amazing as I remembered. It’s just mayo and gherkins, really.

“Suddenly I remembered why I hadn’t had a McDonald’s for years, and began to weep tears of disappointment in my Ford Focus. But the fries were alright.”

Believing it would be a landmark occasion he would treasure for life, Logan splashed out on several sides, but admitted the Mozzarella Dippers were ‘actually quite gross’.

He added: “It was a kick in the teeth but I’m getting over it. I’m doing KFC tomorrow. There’s no chance that will turn out just to be cheap, greasy, unappetising chicken.”