A FAMILY are regretting their decision to let daughter Lucy cook Christmas dinner instead of Mum.
The entire Parry family are shitting themselves that Christmas will be a passive-aggressive nightmare with Lucy glowering and ready to kick off if she hears a single complaint.
Brother Nate said: “When she suggested it we all said ‘That’d be lovely’. We never thought she’d see the threat through. According to her kids she can’t cook fish fingers for four, let alone turkey and trimmings for ten.
“She’s destroying our family traditions. I want to spend Christmas Day opening rubbish presents and drinking myself into an argumentative state in the house I grew up in.
“Instead we’re on eggshells thanks to Lucy’s hubristic generosity. If it was just a cunning way to avoid having to drive three hours up the M1 to Mum and Dad’s, it’s backfired.”
Mother Jan said: “Lucy seems to think it will be a ‘year off’ the stress for me, but if anything it’s worse. It’s like knowing in advance you’re going to be driven into a brick wall. With all your loved ones in the car beside you.
“I’ve spent weeks cooking and freezing a back-up meal, so I’ll pop that in the boot before we set off.”