Subscribe

Windmill your cock: How to finally attract the attention of a waiter

YOUR polite hand gestures and meek eye contact are never going to get your food ordered. Time to take drastic action, like this:

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

Six hobbies that don't necessarily mean you have to smoke weed but always do

INTERESTED in ley lines? Campfire jam sessions with friends? Or any other hobby which theoretically could be enjoyed without weed, but never, ever is?

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›