THE prime minister’s high-risk gamble with the lives of every man, woman and child in Britain might just work out, say scientists.
To avoid paying out any more furlough cash and be less unpopular, Boris Johnson has decided to take his chances with the lives of tens of thousands of people again, but this time his luck might be in.
Epidemiologist Dr Helen Archer said: “The famous Johnson good fortune has been absent recently, but he felt that meant a hot streak was due. And whaddya know, it could be true.
“By choosing to not lock down, because his backbenchers won’t let him, instead placing all his chips on vaccines and a milder variant, he may win big. The chips were our lives, by the way.
“The whole country, and especially the estimated 20,000 to 80,000 who now might not die, will be cheering and applauding this audacious punter whose instincts won through.
“Now it just remains to be seen whether he does the sensible thing, cashes out and protects the public or, emboldened by his minor success, keeps gambling until he loses absolutely everything.
“I know where my money’s going. And, of course, my life.”