Monday, 19th April 2021

Do you give a shit what f**king vaccine you get? Take our quiz

THE Welsh are getting the Moderna jab while under-30s are advised not to get the AstraZeneca jab. Do you care at this point or would you take anything? Find out with our quiz.

How old are you? 

A) Aged between 30 and 49.

B) What do I need to say? If you want me to say I’m 120 I will. I’ve been locked in my flat for a f**king year at this point.

Do you have any underlying health conditions? 

A) Sometimes I get short of breath, for example when I’ve been for a run or climbed a steep hill.

B) I have the underlying condition of needing to be out of this bollocks as soon as possible.

Are there Covid variants in your area? 

A) Possibly, though it’s difficult to ascertain by the naked eye.

B) Does it matter? Am I not more protected by being vaccinated whether it’s the Kent, Brazilian, South African or f**king Micronesian variant regardless? 

What nationality are you? 

A) British, and there’s no doubt in my mind that Covid would know that.

B) Whatever nationality I need to be. All the Americans on Twitter are getting the jab. Would it help if I yelled ‘Yippie-ki-ya, motherf**ker’ because I’ll do it.

Do you have strong feelings of loyalty toward particular pharmaceutical giants? 

A) Absolutely. I’ve always been a Pfizer supporter, my whole family are Pfizer supporters, and I couldn’t countenance turning against them even in this time of crisis.

B) I will have the Sputnik jab if it’s available. I would have a jab bought from the Dark Web. I would have a jab sold over the counter at Londis.


Mostly As: You are rightly considering which vaccine is right for you, while taking heed of all government advice on the issue which differs from advice by all other governments. You are a model citizen and should be proud.

Mostly Bs: You couldn’t care less which vaccine you receive, believing protection against Covid is more important than your health. How irresponsible. Luckily the government is looking after that for you. Stay indoors.