ENGLAND fans now know, thanks to drinking through a game that began at 2am, exactly what it is like to be gasping for breath at 7,220ft.
While the England team appeared to cope with the effects of altitude with aplomb, audiences watching at home close to sea level suffered shortness of breath, nausea, dizziness and also pissed themselves.
Nathan Muir of Warrington said: “The last isn’t a recognised symptom of altitude sickness, but there’s surely no other explanation.
“Technically I was only at 66ft, but what the experts don’t realise is that it can be experienced vicariously through the telly. And seemed to get progressively worse as the evening wore on, no matter how many medicinal cans I consumed.
“By 2am the game hadn’t even started, but all I had to do was stand up and the room was spinning. I kept greying out, which can’t have been exhaustion because I’d only been up 18 hours.
“I responsibly treated it with brandy, like Edmund Hillary did when climbing Everest, but it got worse and worse. By the time the game finished I’d been sick twice and my head was pounding. That altitude’s no joke.”
Muir’s line manager Eleanor Shaw said: “Nathan has left a message explaining he will not be into work because of altitude sickness. Well, half a message, then he starts singing Wonderwall.”
