AN increase in health complaints among lesbians suggests they may be doing it wrong, the British Medical Association said last night.
A national survey revealed many lesbians are not seeking medical advice as they believe doctors are frightened of them and will immediately call the police or fire brigade.
But the BMA dismissed claims that lesbian health problems are ignored by the NHS, insisting common complaints, such as dungaree burn, are often mistaken for non-lesbian conditions.
A BMA spokesman said: "Lesbianism is a tricky business. It takes skill and unfortunately too many women are still falling off half way through.
"Meanwhile many lesbians are reluctant to reveal the cause of their injury, fearing they will be inundated with demands for photos and graphic descriptions of what they were up to.
"This means if a woman comes into casualty with a sprained ankle, claiming she broke a heel, we'll take her at face value, rather than assume she's just fallen off a great big lesbian."
He added: "As for lesbian sexually transmitted diseases, we're not 100% sure how that happens.
"All we can advise is that you keep those sorts of things in the fridge."