A MAN genuinely believes that if he was bleeding from his genitals once a month every month he would not talk about it.
Ryan Whittaker, who has never experienced menstruation, was prompted to make his assertion after hearing a female colleague complain about stomach cramps.
He said: “Sue at work couldn’t finish her lunch because she had ‘bad period pain’. Needless to say that put me right off my food. I could barely finish her leftover naan.
“It’s upsetting and there’s no need for it. I can confidently say that if I was going through something like that – mood swings, bloating, migraine, all the shit – you wouldn’t hear word one. It’s not exactly breaking news, is it? A bit of tummy ache?
“It wears you down, hearing women going on about a shared experience they’ve suffered since before recorded history began. Can’t they keep it to themselves and talk about something interesting like the snooker?
“I just think if I went through something like that I’d have the decency to keep quiet, you know? Not bother normal people with it. What’s wrong with suffering alone?”
He added: “And don’t even get me started on their childbirth stories. So overdramatic. Have these ladies never been hit in the crotch with a rugby ball? Now that’s worth whining about.”