Saturday, 5th December 2020

Man refusing to work out in case he becomes too sexy

A MAN is refusing to exercise because it might increase his sexual magnetism to a level that is hazardous for others. 

Joe Turner told friends that he would like to go to the gym, but adding a sculpted body to his good looks and charisma would not be fair to others.

He added: “Fat’s all I’ve got. Without that there’s nothing between me and Idris Elba.

“It’s taken years of a sedentary lifestyle, combined with sandwiches and Tizer, but it’s a sacrifice I have to make if it stops women walking into lamp posts. I don’t need the hassle.”

He added: “I’ve just left one girlfriend because in certain lights my man boobs looked like bulging, oiled pecs and she couldn’t take it.”

Turner’s ex, Emma Bradford, said: “Nathan is a chunky twat, but he doesn’t struggle with self-confidence.”