CHILDREN of twee parents risk tasting refined sugar for the first time as Britain is hit by a mango shortage.
An EU ban on Indian mango exports means that children called Zachary and Imogen may eat their first Haribo within the month, ruining years of careful nurturing.
Mother-of-two Francesca Johnson said: “Raising a middle-class child to middle-class adulthood is like walking a horse in blinkers.
You have to lead them past the terrible temptations of plastic toys, non-Iranian animation, television with adverts in, and worst of all white sugar.
Mangoes had been the perfect screen. Theyve had years of mango in the lunchbox, mango after dinner, mango as a holiday treat and never suspected.
But once they taste Tangfastics it’s all over.”
Seven-year-old Portia Johnson said: I always wanted to be an aerospace engineer but that was before my lips felt the sublime kiss of a Vimto bon-bon.
Now I dont want to do anything but suck sherbet through a coloured straw all day every day for the rest of my life.
Her brother Bear Johnson, aged ten, said: They lied to us. Not everything is organic.
There are crisps in the world that taste of pickled onion and sweet chilli and barbecue beef, not just parsnip and beetroot and sweet potato.
Im going to burn down the house.