One Billionth Dental Product Launched

IT'S been billed as the biggest event in a generation for people with mouths.

Launched today, Mountain Mouth becomes the world's one billionth dental product and promises a totally new oral hygiene experience.

According to the manufacturers, Mountain Mouth will 'capture the freshness of a mountain and put it in your mouth'.

Henry Brubaker, professor of oral medicine at Colgate University, said: "As a man who talks to dentists a lot, I know they are worried about the lack of mountain freshness in the mouths of their patients.

"We went to the mountainous regions of Tibet, India and China and discovered that those people who still had teeth, had very nice teeth."

He added: "Mountain air can reduce plaque by up to 25% – that's a fact. It reduces the instance of acidic breath by 35% – that's another fact."

Every can of Mountain Mouth will contain fresh, crisp air captured at more than 2000ft above sea level.

People with mouths simply squirt the mountain freshness using the special applicator and instantly feel ready for their next big challenge.

Consumer analyst Tom Logan said: "I honestly felt that a toothbrush for your tongue was as far as oral hygeine could possibly go.

"Now I can't wait to have a mouth full of Mountain Mouth."

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Recycling Centres To Provide 'Wife-Banks'

LOCAL authority recycling centres across the UK are to offer a drop-off service for old or faulty wives.

The government is to fund the £25 million scheme after a three-fold increase in wife-tipping since 1997.

Environment secretary Hilary Benn said: "People are sick of the sight of wives dumped by the side of the road.

"They are unsightly and often hazardous. Many of them end up being taken away by 'travelling people' who then try to sell them at car boot sales."

"Britain should be proud of its countryside rather than littering it with out-of-date wives."

The wife-banks will be installed in major towns and cities and will hold up to 30 wives at a time.

All of the disused wives will be refurbished or broken down for parts with many being exported to the developing world.

Mr Benn added: "A well-built British wife that has been kept clean can last for 30 or even 40 years."