Saturday, 30th May 2020

Plan to get ripped with Joe Wicks abandoned after three days

A WOMAN’S plan to get fit with Joe Wicks has been abandoned after a mere three days and must never be spoken of again. 

Donna Sheridan has quietly dropped her daily TV-based workout with the chirpy PE instructor after discovering it was extremely painful for her unfit body.

Sheridan said: “At first it looked fun. Joe Wicks seems like a nice guy, so why would he want to hurt me this badly?

“One of the exercises was to jump up then go down on your knee. I’m pretty sure that would have my kneecap out of its socket. It’s like something out of a Saw film.

“There’s another called Kangaroo Jumps where you have to put your hands up like a kangaroo and jump from side to side. It’s ridiculous and painful. Maybe the guy is unhinged. 

“The sad thing is he’s so nice and peppy I want to keep watching, but I’ll be doing it from my sofa, eating my third packet of quarantine digestives for the day. 

“I don’t want to be a strain on the NHS if I did hurt myself. If that’s at the cost of my rock hard abs, so be it.”