ARE you tired all the time? Doctors believe they have hit upon the incredible solution of you shutting the f**k up about it.
Deluged with thousands of patients complaining of tiredness, usually those in mid-life with small children, demanding jobs and lengthy commutes, the medical profession has focused its efforts on the issue and developed a radical new treatment: silence.
Dr Helen Archer said: “It’s an epidemic. Some days, every other patient I saw was complaining of TATT. We had to act decisively so we could see people with real problems.
“We’d tried diet, we’d tried vitamins, we’d tried anti-depressants and still the same whingers kept coming back as if fatigue was a condition I could fix with a pill if I just tried hard enough. Finally, in desperation, I prescribed a course of shutting up.
“The results were remarkable. It felt like a burden was lifted. And the patient’s family, friends and co-workers all said the same. Even the patient themselves, when expressly forbidden to bang on about how uniquely tired they are, had no complaints.
“It’s possible they even feel less tired. Who knows? The rest of us don’t have to anymore, which qualifies this as a miracle cure.”
Sufferer Thomas Booker of Exeter said: “But now I’m forced to talk about subjects other people are interested in, like films or the weather. And that’s agonising for me.”
