A NEW survey has found that despite their reputation for cuddly chat and homespun wisdom, the majority of those aged 60 or over are glum, boring moaners.
Research found that socialising with elders had far fewer moments of twinkle-eyed cross-generational bonding than expected, and far more pointless reminiscences, complaints about medical conditions and staring grimly at daytime television.
29-year-old Tom Logan said: “My grandfather thinks I should be interested in everything he says because of his ‘experience’. He spent 45 years doing accounts for self-employed contractors in Barnsley. Experience of what? Tax returns pre-decimalisation?
“His first house cost the same as a second-hand microwave does now, his ‘funny’ work stories would easily double up as testimony at a tribunal, and apparently his triple-locked pension doesn’t stretch to giving me more than two custard creams.”
Carolyn Ryan, aged 35, agreed: “People venerate the old because not long ago they were all WWII veterans who saved the world from Hitler. Not anymore. Now they’re mostly boomers who still think the 60s went too far on women’s rights.
“They’ve contributed bugger all except for Brexit, and the only wisdom they can impart is how to hill-start a Morris Traveller which is not currently relevant. They can piss off.”
86-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “We’re not boring, we’ve got loads of stories. Did I ever tell you about when petrol was 40p a gallon? Because it was.”
