NO longer Prince Andrew or the Duke of York, the shamed Royal is still called Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. Should these fancy surnames be removed as well?
Oliver O’Connor, roofer: “From now on it should be Smith, plain Andy Smith. And no nickname more imaginative than ‘Smithy’.”
Jo Kramer, conveyancer: “I would give him a choice of serial killer surnames: West, Nilsen, Sutcliffe or Hindley. But not Jack the Ripper’s surname of Saxe-Coburg because that’s Royal again.”
Norman Steel, professional dart player: “Chain together all the bad ones. Andrew Cockburn Blower Dicks Cumming Seamen Butt.”
Donna Sheridan, retail worker: “Can I make a bid for Mountbatten? It’s just my credit rating’s f**ked and I’m trying to get a car loan.”
Julian Cook, calligrapher: “As a big believer in nominative determinism, I’d go for Sex-Offender. It’s double-barrelled. That should be some comfort to him.”
