Vaper confident that caramel-flavoured nicotine gas could never be detrimental to health

A VAPE user doesn’t believe that inhaling gallons of flavoured nicotine mist might be somehow be unhealthy.

Tom Booker, whose favourite vape flavour is Tangytronic Laboratories Caramel Oil, questioned new research which claims vaping is more harmful than previously thought.

He said: “What could be more healthy than constantly inhaling huge clouds of sweet-smelling chemical mist laced with nicotine? Surely that’s as natural as eating vegetables or going for a walk in a meadow.

“Vaping is the reason humans evolved to have lungs. At least that’s what Kev in my local vape shop reckons and he seems to know about science because he’s got a massive vape that looks like a gun from a sci-fi film.”

Vape fluid manufacturer Norman Steele said: “People get paranoid but ours is a trustworthy, long-running family business that also makes grenades and anaesthetics for donkeys.”


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Woman who finishes friends' sentences on f**king thin ice

A WOMAN who finishes the ends of her friends’ sentences is on fucking thin ice, it has been confirmed.

Emma Bradford compulsively talks along with the final few words each time her conversational partner is speaking, and they have warned that it is doing their heads in.

Bradford’s friend Nikki Hollis said: “Imagine starting every sentence knowing that you’re going to be pissed off by the end of it.

“Sometimes I’ll start talking in a stream of consciousness just to watch her struggle.”

According to experts, the urge to show someone you can guess what they are going to say is strongly linked to being dreadful.

Bradford said: “I like my friends but the stuff they talk about is so predictable. Sometimes I wish they’d talk about some drama I didn’t know about.”