A WOMAN’S method of centering and looking after her mental wellbeing is laying into her friends and family, she has confirmed.
Lauren Hewitt shuns yoga and scented candles in favour of being viciously judgmental of the lives of friends, acquaintances and celebrities by excoriating their personalities and life choices.
She explained: “After a stressful day, nothing soothes my soul like calling a mate up and slating a mutual friend for being a narcissistic sociopath who deserves to be fired and thrown out of their home.
“An hour ripping into a close pal who I’ve imagined has slighted me in some way leaves me more at peace than any shiatsu massage or cup of chamomile tea. It makes me feel complete.
“Slagging off others who dare to think they’re better than me has saved me hundreds in therapists’ fees. Bitching is good, healthy and hurts only those who aren’t me.
“I’m consistent and fair about it. Like perhaps the next day I’ll ring up Janine, who I hated yesterday, and gossip about how Jo is a total cow unworthy of our friendship. To spread the wealth around.”
She added: “The pleasure of bringing them both down a peg or two really boosts my overall wellbeing. My inner goddess is reborn as I lament to my mum over WhatsApp how fat my sister is these days.”