CONCERNED about whether your recent trip to Londis to buy Monster was one in which you were mogging, maxxing, or both? We explain: 

Maxxing

Derived from videogames, where a player will ‘max out’ a particular statistic, this means to concentrate all one’s efforts in a particular area. For instance, one could say ‘Jesus, Margot Robbie is really corsetmaxxing in that shite film.’

Mogging

The end point of maxxing, to ostentatiously become the best in a particular field. As in ‘Seen that Gordon Ramsay thing on Netflix? Basically six hours of twatmogging.’

Looksmaxxing

To max out one’s looks. Became prominent with internet personality Clavicular, who takes steroids, testosterone and hits himself in the face with a hammer to accentuate his bone structure. Also chants along to ‘Heil Hitler’ with Andrew Tate, which is Nazimaxxing.

Framemogging

To be far superior to a rival while standing next to them. For example, if Robert Jenrick were to attempt to give a tough speech on immigration but Nigel Farage were to sidle up toward the end, the former would have been framemogged at bigotmaxxing.

Jestermaxxing

Being as deliberately hilarious as possible, usually by acting out in real life an obscure meme which only came into existence three weeks ago and will be forgotten by March. As an adult, you will not find this funny and can remain joyfully unaware it is even happening.

Bootymogging

Having a conspicuously larger booty than those around you. This is only considered bootymogging if the efforts of all involved are deliberate, and is not bootymogging in the case of the morbidly obese woman who gets the 79 from Bulwell to Nottingham.

Mewmaxxing

Mewing is a ridiculous face the young pull to maintain a perfect Insta-ready jawline. Mewmaxxing is doing this more or less constantly. If a young person looks a total f**king dick, they may be mewmaxxing.

Reesmogging

Outdoing one’s peers in parliament by costuming oneself as an Edwardian gentleman, speaking in a ridiculously affected manner, and losing one’s seat. If an older man looks a total f**king dick on GB News, he may be reesmogging.