Europe to review transporting fire in lorries

EUROPEAN authorities may ban the importation of fire in unsecured lorries after the Channel tunnel incident.  

Businesses including pizza restaurants, scrap yards and logging operations routinely import cheap fire from Eastern Europe rather than observe British firestarting regulations.

EU Trade Commissioner Sidsel Larsen said: “In the UK, igniting and maintaining a standard wood fire is a four-man operation, all equipped with extinguishers, costing thousands.

“But in Bulgaria one man with a can of petrol and a lit cigarette between his teeth can start twenty fires in three minutes, which are then loaded onto trucks and driven to wherever they’re needed.

“Unfortunately when these lorries are delayed the fires tend to range out of control, destroying everything in their path, but you can’t restrict trade.”


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Highlands travellers warned against sheltering in wrong pub

DRIVERS in Scotland have been warned against sheltering from icy conditions in isolated pubs where they are likely to be murdered.

A police spokesman said: “Although road conditions are treacherous, you need to think carefully before pulling into a pub for a break.

“Ask yourself, does it have a flat roof? Is there a Rottweiler, two Rottweilers, or razor wire visible? Can you see any nationalistic imagery such as flags, or burning effigies?

“Is there the steaming carcass of a stag or other large mammal in the porch?

“If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, keep driving.

“Better to get a bit tired and drive into a ditch than to be made into a ‘road lamb’ haggis.”