Foreign holiday ruined by forgetting tea bags

A FAMILY who went on holiday to Italy had a dreadful time because they could not have a decent cup of tea, it has emerged.

Martin Bishop, his wife Eleanor and their daughter Kate usually take a catering pack of PG Tips whenever they go abroad because foreign tea tastes like piss.

Bishop said: “Somehow in the stress of our holiday preparation we forgot the tea bags, which were arguably more important than our passports.

“When we unpacked in the hotel I just got this cold feeling all over, like the angel of death had entered the room. Except it wasn’t the angel of death, it was the angel of not having any tea bags.

“We put a brave face on it for each other, but I think deep down we all knew the holiday was fucked.

“We tried every to stave off the misery by stuffing our faces with all the pizza and ice cream that we could get our hands on and yet somehow nothing was as satisfying as a chipped mug of tepid brown liquid could ever be.”

He added: “There’s probably a metaphor for Brexit in that somewhere, isn’t there?”

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Which terrible BBC dramas are your parents recommending?

WHICH abysmal BBC dramas are your parents most obsessed by? Here are their top picks.

Close Protection

After an hour of dirty bombs and “I want London on lockdown – NOW!” you realise they only watch this because your parents once saw the lead actress in a shop and now it’s like they have a weird spiritual connection. Apparently she’s also in Dead Body Analysis Team which is ‘a bit gory’.

The Peaks

Bland drama set in the Peak District where the main storylines are about divorce, inheritance tax and a man who steals eggs. Your parents watch it with the sound turned down and just look at the scenery.

Crime Web

Deeply unrealistic series about a police unit tackling internet crime. Utterly gripping to your parents because they think computers really can lock you in your house and boil you to death with the central heating.  

Veg Haulers

Gritty ‘contemporary issue’ drama set in the world of supermarket delivery drivers. The edgy realism includes Dennis Waterman smashing up a phone box because he dropped a box of plums.

The Plunketts of Dorsetshire Downs

18th century toss that your dad loves to watch so that he can point out the historical errors, although he is right that kids never actually died of nits like Little Hettie does. Also every character has a dark secret and it is always either that they killed a sailor or used to be a prostitute.