Israel To Open Humanitarian Corridor And Then Blow It Up

ISRAEL has agreed to open a corridor into Gaza for essential humanitarian supplies and then fire hundreds of missiles at it.

Israeli F-15s are fitted with school-seeking missiles

As the international community accused the Israelis of using a sledgehammer to crack a school, the Tel Aviv government pledged to increase both the level of aid to Palestinian civilians and attacks upon it.

A spokesman said: "We're happy to provide humanitarian supplies as long as you understand that anything going in or out of Gaza is a legitimate target. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about that."

The Israeli airforce last night issued a map showing the route the aid convoys will take and the exact points where each truck will be blown to smithereens.

Meanwhile Hamas has pledged to commandeer any humanitarian supplies that make it through, fill them with semtex and fire them at settlements in southern Israel.

A Hamas spokesman said: "For every bag of rice you send us without blowing it up, we will send back thousands of pieces of exploding rice. How's about that?"

Meanwhile UN secretary general Ban Ki Moon said that while Hamas is undoubtedly a collection of grade-A psychopaths, firing home-made rockets is not quite the same thing as having a personalised bomb for every Palestinian man, woman and child.